Sunday, December 04, 2005

How are you feeling?

This question is perhaps the most annoying one I get. You know, I'm pregnant. And people ask because they care. And I really don't mind if my mom or mother-in-law or anyone that I can speak about my girly bits asks me. But when casual acquaintenances wonder how I am feeling, do they want the truth?

In all honesty, I feel rather normal. The effect of a child growing in my womb has so far only been that I look a little silly trying to stand up from a chair, and my lower back is starting to ache constantly. But when folks ask how you're feeling, do they really want to know about all the weird and yucky symptoms that often accompany being pregnant? Hemorrhoids anyone? Bloody noses? Strange discarge? Swollen feet? Stretch marks? The constant worry and wonderment of labor & delivery? Sore nipples? Strange and uncomfortable feelings of pressure in the nether regions? HEMORRHOIDS ANYONE???

Today we're going to the annual Christmas Party at my mother-in-law's place of employment. It will be full of casual acquaintenances (they know my name, for the life I me I don't know theirs) who in all likelihood will inquire as to the state of my pregnancy. I can't freaking wait.

"I'm feeling great! I was constipated during my first trimester, but I've seemed to get over that! My vagina goes through stages of being angry with me, so that sucks! I do my kegels every day to prepare to push that little sucker through the birth canal! My lower back is in a near constant state of soreness! Soon my ankles will start to get really swollen! And every day my maternity pants feel a little tighter! How are YOU feeling?"

The second question they ask, "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Another cycle of madness that drives me nuts.

My life could be much much worse.



In other business, the first boy name that Gerald and I have agreed is not horrible: William Edward, we'd call him Will.

Good day.

4 comments:

jurgen said...

hi mandy,
to the Question do you know what its going to be I usually answer " a Baby" or " an astronaut"..

or have you picked out names yet? answer yes Haggartha or puddly-bartholemu

Mandy said...

oh, jurgen. that's so funny. I can definitetly use the astronaut answer. or maybe "philosopher." or maybe...i don't know, something funny.

Sarah said...

There is a particular type of woman (usually in early thirties, wants to have a baby but isn't for some reason) who will ask the "how are you feeling" question with horrible drippy fake sympathy. To them I always said, "gosh, I've never felt better in my life. My hair is shiny, my skin is great. Pregnancy must really agree with me or something!" This makes them jealous and uncomfortable, so I would smile hugely even if I was peeing accidentally as I spoke.

Mandy said...

I bet you pulled that off with such panache.

Thing is, I feel pretty fine, too. And today at the party I answered the question with a bubbly "I feel great!" and that was it.

But if your skin was great while you were pregnant, then screw you, because I'm all pimply. And I forgot to mention the heartburn. I get all set to go to bed after a long day under my cozy duvet only to set off the burning esophogus. Poop. You'd think I'd be able to figure out which foods give me heartburn, but you'd be wrong because it's totally random. Oh, and prenatal vitamins give me green bowel movements. Woohoo!

See, it's like I'm complaining, but I really have nothing to complain about. I actually feel fine.