Friday, October 14, 2005

sarah, was it the horseshoe?

Remember that time I went home for the weekend with you to visit? We went out to that bar - Horseshoe? - and I think we drank pitchers of beer. I've been thinking about it lately because I have the Allman Brothers Band in my 5-disc changer and I've been listening to Whipping Post over and over. I made you play it on the juke box and you sang it all rock star while we sat at the booth drinking our beers. Then all those women came in wearing their mom clothes, like fall sweaters and makeup and other things that seemed five years old. I despised those women and vowed never to become like that.

That's before we were moms. Man, things are different. And it isn't like I want to turn back time and change everything just so I could sit in a bar drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. I know you know that. It's just that sometimes I really do want to go out out on the town. And stay up all night. And walk home when the sun is coming up. And get free cosmos because we go to the same bar every night and the bartender likes us. And sip your drink made of Malibu which is so gross. And sing Debra. And dance on bars.

Or maybe I'm just wondering what life would be like if this other life never happened. But however much I think about it, I could never wish to actually be back there. I've got it pretty good here, with the best bubba (and a half) in the world and a husband who loves and takes care of me. So what am I talking about? I don't know. I just keep thinking of those women in that bar who I so despised. And the Whipping Post. And it just makes me wonder.


Sarah said...

It was the horseshoe. I totally know what you mean.

I just keep reminding myself that when I am 40, I am going to be so graceful and self-posessed, and all of this bafflement of youth I will think fondly on and smile on my way to doing something really grownup and accomplished, like...uhh....oh, let's say a gig at the blue note. We're just getting the hard work out of the way now. But also really enjoying ourselves, and turning into these fabulous people. And making other fabulous people.

Mandy said...

I somehow think that by the time I'm 30 I'll have it all figured out. And be fabulous. And drive a minivan. Wouldn't that be great?

Sarah said...

only if it is a nissan quest.